FOOD COURT

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Quotable Matters of Opinion & Taste

“I like rice. Rice is great if you’re hungry and want 2,000 of something.”
—Mitch Hedberg, comedian

“The Golden Arches are now more widely recognized than the Christian cross.”
—Eric Schlosser, author, in his new book Chew On This

“The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.”
—Woody Allen

“Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese; garlic makes it good.”
—Alice May Brock, of Alice’s Restaurant fame

“When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other.”
—Chinese proverb

“The kitchen is the most important room in the house; not only is it the stomach, but the heart and the spirit as well.”
—Julia Child, quoted by her friend James Beard

“You can lose weight from fen-phen, too, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for you.”
—Dean Ornish, author of Eat More, Weigh Less, on high-protein diets.

“Worries go down better with soup.”
—Jewish proverb

“Doctor, do you think it could have been the sausage?’’
—Last words of Paul Claudel, French writer (1868-1955)

“What I adore is simple things. For lunch at home, I will make a lobster salad, then frog’s legs, sautéed the way my father made them, then a côte de boeuf, then a crème caramel. Simple!”
—Jacques Lameloise, French chef who grew up in a three-star family restaurant in Burgundy

“Basically, [sushi] is a type of cuisine developed by the Japanese as part of an ancient tradition of seeing what is the scariest thing they can get you
to eat raw.”
—Dave Barry, “How to Make Sushi”

“Have you looked around? Most Americans today are food pyramids—small at the top, wide at the bottom.”
——Jay Leno, The Tonight Show

“Burgundy makes you think of silly things; Bordeaux makes you talk about them, and Champagne makes you do them.”
—Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, French lawyer and epicure

Health Facts: Internet Humor Dept.
(A) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
(B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat, drink a lot of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
(C) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
(D) The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and
also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
(E) Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you.
—Anonymous

“Modern people have seen too many chemicals and are ready to go back to eating dirt.”
—Mark Kurlansky, author of Salt, on the current lure of gray, black, red and other colored salts containing natural impurities.

“Those who think they have no time for healthy eating will sooner or later have to find time for illness.”
—Edward Stanley (1826-1893), from The Conduct of Life

“You want health food? Stay at home.”
—Steve Scarabosio, baseball fan, commenting on the opening of a fruit-and-vegetable stand at Pac Bell Park, home of the San Francisco Giants.

“No goomba says ‘pasta e fagioli’ when he means a soup made of noodles and beans. He says, ‘pasta fazool.’ No goomba says ‘mozzarella.’ It’s always, ‘mozza-rell.’
No one says ‘prosciutto.’ It’s just, ‘pro-shoot.’”
—Steven Schirripa (aka Bobby Bacala), cast member of The Sopranos, in A Goomba’s Guide to Life.

“The true cook...is the perfect blend, the only perfect blend, of artist and philosopher. He knows his worth: he holds in his palm the happiness of mankind, the welfare of generations yet unborn.”
—Norman Douglas, British writer (1868-1952)

“It turns out that a burp is universal.”
—Mark W. Tilden, inventor of the Robosapien robot, programmed to mimic bodily noises that humans of all nationalities find amusing

“I’ve always argued that food and eating, collectively, is the greatest source of pleasure that you have over your lifetime.”
—John Mackey, founder of Whole Foods Market

“Hunger is the best sauce in the world.”
—Cervantes, Don Quixote

“I’m getting so old, I don’t even buy green bananas anymore.”
—Chi Chi Rodriguez, golfer

Fresh Definition
Vegaquarian: A vegetarian who eats fish.

“Before you’ve finished your breakfast this morning, you’ll have relied on half the world.”
—Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“A smiling face is half the meal.”
—Latvian proverb

Fresh Definition HEALTHITIZE (verb) To make otherwise unhealthy food look healthy by fortifying it in some way, e.g., with vitamins and minerals. Example: Diet Coke has healthitized normal Diet Coke by adding vitamins and minerals.

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