The funny not-so-funny truths about raising kids with food allergies.

Penelope Wall
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1. Your diaper bag is a bottomless pit.

Just the essentials... wipes, hand sanitizer, EpiPens, Benadryl, cortisone, emergency action plan, inhaler, safe snacks, safe treats, water bottles, cell phone, charger, spare clothes. And diapers, don't forget those.

2. People Who "Pack Light" Are Not Our People

See #1. Plus: A week's supply of groceries, kitchen supplies, dinnerware, utensils and a list of the nearest pharmacy, hospital and supermarket.

3. Halloween is just a big buzz kill.

"Is this safe to eat?"

4. You dread birthday party invites.

Uh, sorry, we're out of town that day. That day too. We're basically busy for the next year. Bye-eee.

5. You distrust any food that's not in its original package with clear labeling.

Thanks for the gift, but...

6. You secretly eat your kid's allergen-and feel guilty about it.

Mom guilt x1000.

7. You secretly eat your kid's allergen and then freak out when they try to kiss you goodnight.

I love you, but don't touch me!

8. When you find an allergy-free product you AND your kids love:

Take my money. All of it. Peace of mind is priceless.

Watch: How to Make Allergy-Friendly Veggie Chips